A critical part in dealing with someone who has dementia is keeping a semblance of routine. Change is difficult for many of us but people with dementia are hard at work keeping their thoughts organized, so change can be very disruptive. Consequently,  you can appreciate how a backyard pool repair project, that could no longer be delayed,  put a new wrinkle to our daily routine.

Imagine having a beautiful pool you enjoy all summer long and coming out one day to have it look like this! The fact that Mom was witness to each repair step along the way has no bearing, because most of what Mom can remember is in the moment. This is her “new” view each time she walks into the backyard.

It is interesting that my Mother can retain some information about this project and accept it as fact. For instance, she understands (after MUCH repetition) the pool had a leak that needed to be fixed, that this project is the result of 30 years of deferred maintenance and yes there is money in the bank to pay for the project.

But what she cannot understand is that the workers did not dig the pool to its current depth. I reminded Mom that Dad was the one who had the pool built with the deep end at almost 11 feet so he could play around with his scuba tanks!

However she refuses to believe it was that deep to begin with.  So every fifteen or twenty minutes, of every hour they are working, Mom goes into the  backyard to tell the workers (who by the way have a bit of a language barrier) to fill it in because the pool is too deep! Mom receives smiles and waves from the guys, I intercept her and steer Mom back into the house.

And so begins our new routine ….. …for the next five days!