A friend was over visiting the other night and we were both sitting and talking with Mom. My friend is a nurse and knows all the local doctors so I was updating her on my Moms recent Neurologist visit.

I was remarking at how I wish doctors would at some point give you a private moment to ask them questions without the patient present. When I discuss Moms dementia in front of her it makes us both uncomfortable and I think it raises her anxiety level. But I understand that she is the patient and so he wants to keep her in the room for all the discussion regarding her health.

I was recalling how at the end of our appointment the doctor asked if I had any more questions. I inquired if he had any thoughts about Mom’s recent ability to remember that my Dad died. I told him I have changed my response when Mother asks me when Dad is coming home. I now ask her to think about it and then I am quiet. She will think for a minute and then say “Well I guess he isn’t coming home because he died, but I put that somewhere else because is don’t want it to be true.”

After telling the doctor this story he turned to Mom and asked “Marion do you have a religion?” She replied that indeed she did. Then the Doctor said “Well then you know your husband is already home and he will be there when you are ready to join him.”

After hearing about this exchange between the doctor and Mom, my nurse friend turned to my Mother and asked “How do you feel about that?” Mom quickly replied “Well that is fine but I am in no hurry to get there!”