I am so thankful for my family. I am one of the lucky people who has a loving, close connection with my brother, sister, aunts, uncles, cousins, nephew, nieces and in-laws. My life is rich with love and support as a result.

My Mother was a big part of creating and keeping that connection at our house. She had friends and a social life to be sure, but she made certain we traveled to visit family often and welcomed them to our home as well.  As a result I have only to pick up a phone, send a text or email to any number of relatives and love is on the other end.

Mom was and continues to be a favorite in our family. Her smile, good nature and wonderful sense of humor were a constant at our gatherings.   Her company was a joy to us and as such those connections she created survive to this day. Relatives still come to visit, call frequently or drop a note in the mail just to touch base and let her know they think of her fondly.

Many have the experience of needing to remind Mom of who they are during their conversations and although her personality still shines through, it can still be difficult for those who love Mom to witness her decline.

More difficult still is the investment of love and time that once formed connections with Mom are now just a moment in time. They are literally forgotten to her as soon as they are created. She enjoys the interaction but making memories with her is a thing of the past.

I witness this every day and yet at times it still seems impossible to me. That this smart, funny and caring woman who would inquire, listen and remember with interest, can no longer retain. The connections have stopped being stored and even the memories we shared, for her are starting to fade.

Knowing all of this I am still stunned by the finality of it all and never more so than yesterday.  My sister and I were having a changing of the guard, as she was driving down from Oregon to stay with Mom to give me a much-needed break, while I drove back to San Diego.

I called Mom to remind her that Cinda was on the way to her and that I had just safely arrived in San Diego after a long days drive. Mom said “Oh good you are in San Diego. Where did you drive from?” Unable to stop myself, I reminded her that I had been at her house and there for quite a long time. Mom got quiet for a minute then said “Oh brother I am in left field. Well I am glad you arrived safely and call me later dear. Maybe I will be more checked in tomorrow.”

If only I could hope that to be true……