I had an experience a few days ago that made me know  the universe continues to guide me through this life in sometimes mysterious ways. It brought home to me the confirmation that most things we do in our lives bring us to the next place in our journey, as it was intended.  Yes, I am the perfect example of one who likes to take detours along the way (I hear my family and friends announcing!) But mostly I am convinced, each step we take is intended to follow the path we created with the guidance of our higher power, when we choose to listen.

My detours have taken me to a place where I need to refocus my passion for how I make my living, still bring me the flexibility to care for my mom and have the lifestyle I want in my retirement years. So I have decided to invest in a business with a friend of mine. It is a placement agency for seniors who are transitioning into assisted living, memory care or board and care homes.

As a placement agency you help families and seniors through the tedious and emotional process of finding a new place that is a good fit and where the senior can  live out the remainder of their life in comfort and safety. It is a process I went through with my Mom, before I decided to keep her at my home, and have helped others journey through along the way. It is particularly difficult to navigate this process when the senior has dementia, as their input is almost non-existent. The family is very easily overwhelmed with stress, guilt and worry they may not be doing the right thing for their loved one.  Because of my experiences with my mother, I really believe it is an area where I can relate, have  compassionate and be of tremendous help.

So with this plan in the works my reminder came at the most unlikely of places, although not foreign to me, and that is on the back patio of a local restaurant/bar. I was there with about 40 others enjoying food and “refreshments” after a charity bowling tournament where we raised money for the Humane Society and for Elderhelp of San Diego, who in partnership with PAWS, has a program that assists seniors who need help at home caring for their animals.

As the establishment was small, we took over most of the back patio with our group. However, there was a group of six millennials, who were not part of our festivities, sitting off to the side, deep in conversation. I noticed one of the women in their party had a beautiful black lab mix puppy on her lap.  So being the dog lover I am, I walked over to ask could I pet her dog.

Their small group was very welcoming and the puppy turned out to be a Baja rescue, which drove our conversation to me also  having a Baja rescue dog. One woman in the group asked why we were such a big group gathered there, and so I told her about the charity that we bowled for was to benefit seniors who needed help to care for their animals.

I pointed out that many seniors will refuse to move from home to seek better care for themselves for fear their animals will need to be left behind. I then mentioned in passing that my mother now lives with me because she has dementia, but that when I researched care homes for her, accepting her dog Timmy was mandatory.

Suddenly the woman who had inquired about our gathering looked at me in a bit of disbelief and pointing towards her friends and said “That is why they all came with me here today.  I needed emotional support as I just literally left my Dad, who has dementia, at his new care facility not two hours ago and I am having a really hard time with it. When I left him he looked upset that I was leaving him there, even though I assured him I would be back.”

This revelation took the conversation into a whole new direction with her peppering me with questions about my mom, her dementia, our journey and ultimately into the womans guilt, fears and sadness about having to leave her Dad at the facility.  Throughout the 30 minute conversation she repeatedly asked if I thought she had done the right thing by him.

I was taken aback at how young this woman was and my heart ached for her having to face such a challenge at an age where her biggest concern should have been her newest career move or ruminations of romance and travel. Clearly it was a burden she was shouldering without a partner/husband or brothers and sisters to share the load. Gratefully she had a group of friends to share her concerns, but ultimately she was on her own.

Finally I looked her in the eyes and said, “It seems clear from our conversation that you and your Father are very close, is that right?” Tears started to well in her eyes and she replied, “Yes, we are very close.” I continued, “Then I want you to think about having a conversation with your Father before he had dementia.  I want you to think about what he would want for you at this time in your young life. What would he say to you about the decision you had to make today?”

The young woman started to cry in earnest and she answered, “He would have said I really screwed this one up kid but I don’t want you to worry about it.  I am safe and you are doing a really good job of taking care of me under the circumstances and I don’t want you to worry . Go live your life.”  I looked back at her with misty eyes and said, “Then you need to listen to your Dad and know he is going to be just fine and you are doing a good job.”

She stood up still crying and put her arms wide and asked, “I feel like I need to give you a hug is that OK?” I walked around the table and we embraced for a long moment and she whispered in my ear, “I feel like I was supposed to be here today to meet and talk with you.  Thank you.”  I pulled back and look at her and said, “I think we both were in just the right place today so thank you.  Now we both know we will be OK.”

And with that I said my goodbyes and left grateful for the gift this woman gave me of renewed confidence and a sense of being in the right place on the next leg of my journey.