(From March 8th)

Mom’s dog Timmy usually leaves her cats alone but tonight he was trying to chase them out of her bedroom. I heard barking and I went in to see what was going on and caught him in the act with Mom standing by watching the circus. I scolded Timmy and told him to get on the bed. He ignored me. I told him to stop chasing the cats and he ignored me. Mom finally picked him up and placed him on the bed. I proceeded to lecture him to “stay up on that bed and leave those cats alone!” Mom looked and me wryly and said “So how’s his English?”

(From Feb 21st)

Mom asked me “How old am I again?” I told her she was 80 years old. “How old are you again?” she asked. “56 years old” I said. “I was 56 once” Mom said. I replied “I should hope so!” She looked at me and said “Actually I was 56 more than once.” I looked at her and asked “How did you manage that?” She said “I was 56 for 12 months in a row!”

(From Feb 19th)

When I moved to Carson City, Nevada to spend time with my Mom I planned to only fly home to San Diego every other weekend. So I brought my three dogs with me because I couldn’t bear to be without them.

I accepted a job in Carson City and as a result keeping my dogs secure in my absence becomes an issue. My Mom can’t be trusted to not let them out of the backyard, so I lock them into a dog enclosure I built for them during the day.

When I come home for lunch everyday, I let the dogs out into the very large backyard, I bring Moms meal out to the deck and she watches me throw the Frisbee for them while she eats. She really enjoys watching them run.

Today she was enjoying the action and said “Look at them go! They are really getting a workout! Now if all of you were running back and forth you would ALL be getting a good workout!”

(From Feb 10th)

When dealing with someone with dementia you can find yourself exaggerating safety concerns just to try and get your point across.   I found myself in just such an occasion when I accidentally left some trail mix out on the kitchen counter that had chocolate chips as an ingredient. I woke up the next morning to find Mom feeding it to her dog Timmy.

I picked the trail mix up from the floor and said “Mom Timmy can’t eat this, it has chocolate in it.” She said “So what he likes it.” I tried my best scare tactic on her and explained “He can’t have it Mom. Chocolate is toxic to dogs, especially small ones, and he could die.” She reasoned “He eats around it.” I looked at her and said “Now how could you possibly know that?” She pointed to him and said “Does he look dead to you?!” Marion: 1 Monica: 0

(From Aprl 3rd)

It is times like these when I admire people who have a chronic illness or health condition that saps their physical resources and tests their patience, and yet they motor on and manage their daily lives with grace. They have to manage it every day…me just until I am back to feeling 100%. Yes I am talking about patience! I am a bit short of it today and Mom is testing mine.

Doing laundry is always a BIG chore as Mom always tells me I am wasting electricty. Now a sound mine knows this is an unreasonable arguement so given the circumstances I just say “ok Mom but it needs to be done” and I contunue on with my task. Today she gave me the same arguement and I the same response. Now this is a chore that has to be monitored because she is famous for turning off the washing machine mid cycle.

I usually position myself somewhere within earshot of the laundry room to intercept her sabatoge. Today I made it to the dryer when midway through I went to the back of the house to answer a phone call. Upon my return I heard the dryer still humming along so was confident I was almost over this obstacle. It was only when I walked to the back yard to check on my Dog that I saw all the laundry draped over the dirty outdoor furniture and deck to dry in the sun that I realized I was thwarted AGAIN….arrrgggh! Round two!

(From March 13th)

The Tooth Saga continued last night as Mom kept asking me about the sore spot in the back of her mouth. I continued to remind her she had a tooth pulled. Finally she said “Did I get to see it before they took it away?” I was surprised by this and replied “No I don’t think so, but why would you want to see it?” She looked at me with a really sweet expression and said “Well I wasn’t ready for it to go away yet.” I reminded her the tooth was rotten and so it needed to be pulled, they had no other choice. Mom said “Now how does that happen, I brush my teeth!” I said “Maybe it just got tired, your teeth are 80 years old.” She replied “Well all the others in there must be tired too.” She turned and looked at me and said “Uh Oh, I think I am in trouble.”

(From March 12th)

We were at the oral surgeon today because Mom needed a tooth pulled. Fought me tooth and nail (pun intended) as she insisted we should just let the tooth fall out on its own. I of course pushed the point and we got there in time to fill out a mountain of paperwork.

After I finished with the forms, I handed them to the receptionist, she reviewed them and said “Perfect!” I sat back down next to Mom and she looked at me and said “If you are so perfect how come you can’t fix my tooth?”…..

(From March 4th) I brought my Toy Hauler with me to Nevada (for you indoor types that is a trailer for camping) and found a nice covered storage yard to park it a few miles east of town. After work I hooked it up so I could tow it out to storage for a few months. I invited Mom along and she was happy to join me.

After towing for about a mile or so east of town Mom started in with her typical questions such as, where are we going and why are we going here, etc. Well in her defense, when going east of Carson City on Hwy 50, it gets barren very quickly. It looks like the middle of nowhere and that only added to her confusion I am sure.

About two miles east she said  “Wow we are really out here! I don’t think I have ever been here before”. I said “You have a many times over the years Mom. This is the way out to the dump.” She mumbles “Okay.” Because she sounded unconvinced I add, “And it is the way we go to the turn off to Virginia City, which you really enjoy.” Again she gave an unsure “Okay.” Then I turned to her smiling and said “And it is the way people get to all the whore houses.” She looked at me with a raised eyebrow and said, “Because I was out there so often.” I laughed and said “Bad clue?” She remarked “You got that part right…” 

(From March 3rd)

One of the pitfalls of living with someone who has dementia is never really trusting what they say as being what they mean. You sometimes have to play word games to get to what they are trying to communicate.

I assumed Mom and I were having one of those conversations this morning when she approached me as I was rushing to get out the door to work. She handed me a cup of coffee I had made her before I hopped in the shower, and said “I don’t think this is like it usually is when you doctor it up for me.” I had neglected to taste it before I gave it to her earlier as she enjoys her coffee very sweet. I said “Whats the matter with it?” She exclaimed “I don’t know but it is just awful!” I mentally rolled my eyes and said “Oh come on Mom it’s not awful, I probably just didn’t make it sweet it enough.” Mom said “Well taste it!”

Now it is worth pausing here to consider exactly why I thought that was a good idea….. But I did as was requested and took a big swig of her coffee. It tasted so heinous my immediate reaction was to spit it back into the coffee cup with such force that the coffee went flying all over the front of my blouse! Mom said “I told you…”. Evidently I had not made it sweet enough and while I was in the shower she took it upon herself to put more sugar in…..except she apparently had used copious amounts of SALT not sugar. Her communication was clear as a bell….and I was late for work!