The mind is such a mystery. Witnessing dementia makes you believe a pattern arises or you can predict the person’s behavior based on past experiences. Then one day they make a liar out of you. They act differently than predicted. No rhyme, no reason… they just do.

I had such a day yesterday when I took my Mother to the doctor for a follow-up appointment on the foot fracture she got from her recent fall. The previous 48 hours were spent battling to keep my Mom in the removable boot the emergency room physician put on to stabilize her foot. She was adamant her foot was not broken and could not comprehend why she was wearing this “ugly shoe”.

I tried every manner of persuasion to keep her in the boot. I even took a picture of her x-ray, printed it and drew an arrow to point out the fracture and wrote “Marion’s Broken Foot” on the sheet. This helped to distract her into a discussion about how the injury happened, when it happened, etc. but in the end she would forget and try to remove the boot.

In frustration I resorted to duct taping around the straps on the boot to keep her from being able to unfasten them. This worked until the evening hours when her frustration level was so great she finally threatened to walk next door and have the neighbor take it off if I wouldn’t. I relented about an hour before her bedtime…almost made it!

Yesterday was a different story. Mom was cooperative at the doctor’s office and continued to be so when we got home. This doctor had given her a slightly smaller boot and she seemed more agreeable to leaving this one on.  Even more striking was her memory. Mom remembered who I was into the evening hours. She was more pleasant and talkative than she had been in three months , actually initiating appropriate conversation with me.  Mom asked how my day was and what I had been doing all day.

Forget the fact that she remembered nothing about the doctor’s office, her broken foot, etc. What warmed my heart was that she remembered me! That she was interested in how my day was spent and that my sweet and thoughtful Mother came shining through, even if only for an evening. It was more than I than I have had from her in such a long time.

The ebb and flow of her memory can be so frustrating. But I am grateful for evenings like yesterdays. They buoy you up, bring a small sense of normalcy to the situation, no matter how brief. And it recharged the battery that was getting low ….to have the energy to face the morning I am having today. To be able to find the patience to repeat the story (over and over) that answers the question “Why the heck am I wearing this ugly shoe?!”