A few days before I was to return home to Carson City, my Mom called me early in the morning and was very upset. I asked her to tell me about it and she said “Well I got up this morning and I just can’t figure out anything. It’s like I am stupid. I am not sure what is happening.” I realized in that moment that she woke up quite lucid. She was having a morning of clarity and she was afraid, not understanding why she had no point of reference from which to start her day….no memory of yesterday, no memory of a path on how she arrived at today.

I explained to Mom that she was not stupid, that she has a memory problem and that was why there was a woman at home with her. The caregiver was to help her manage things and then I was coming up to stay in a couple of days. Mom said “Oh good, well that puts a smile on my face. I am not sure what is going on with me but it seems clear I am going to need some help for a while until I get better.”

Once she had an explanation and a plan of action, her anxiety started to abate and Mom relaxed a bit in our conversation. She was getting her bearings and felt everything was going to be OK. I told Mom that I loved her and that I would see her soon. She asked how long I would be staying with her and I said at least a few weeks. Her response to that news almost broke my heart. In her time of clear reasoning Mom replied “Oh that is so sweet of you dear but I am sure you wont need to stay that long. I should hope I will be much better my then.” Mom said she loved me, would see me soon, hung up the phone …. and caught up in her tangle of hope and wishful thinking, I proceeded to cry.