My Mother has taken a recent decline. Typical of her disease she will slide, plateau for  awhile and then journey down again. With Alzheimer’s the brain is continually shrinking and the consequences cannot be predicted. Acting out behaviors can be a result, spacial disorientation, ambulation issues, and the list goes on and on. You never know when it will present, what will turn up or how it plays out.

This turn was rather sudden and it hit me this last week when I popped in to see mom in the late afternoon.  I was coming from a birthday party and wanted to take her a piece of the cake the host had so graciously wrapped for me to bring to her. I found Mom seated in the dining room next to a wall mirror. She was turned to look at herself and as I approached I realized she was having a lively conversation with her reflection.

I was stunned at how difficult it was for me to watch this exchange.  My first reaction was to smile at the humor of the situation but it was immediately followed by a sting of tears in my eyes.  It was all I could do not to cry right there as I watched my sweet mother chatting away at herself in the mirror as if it were the most natural conversation in the world. This was a new behavior and I was more than a bit taken aback by the scene before me.

As I approached, mom noticed my reflection and smiled and waved at me in the mirror.  I mustered up a smile and said, “Hi mom” and waved at our reflections. She continued to wave back and did not turn around to face me to have conversation but continued to talk to me in the mirror.  I finally bent down and kissed her on top of the head and only then did she turn around and smile and say “Oh there you are!”

As mom settled in to eat her cake she continued to look next to her into the mirror and offer her reflection a taste. Upon receiving no response from her “friend” she would wonder aloud, “well I guess she must have already had some” and would turn to look at me and offer me some cake as well.  Each time she did this I would thank her and tell her I already had my piece and so she would eat a bite of cake and then repeat the sequence with each bite in between.

Although a harmless development, to be confused by one’s own reflection, it has been accompanied by some acting our behaviors towards caregivers that now requires a new medication regime. Each step down brings a new plan of action, a new way to manage moms care and new complications in keeping her safe and cared for in her ever shrinking world.

I have been popping in a few times a day at different times to see how her new medication doses are playing out. Each time I do I find her at the mirror in conversation with her reflection. I don’t ask the staff if she seeks it out or if the caregivers put her there for a convenient distraction and built in entertainment for Mom. The new medication dose doesn’t seem to have changed Mom’s interest in her new friend in the mirror and it doesn’t matter as she seems to find her company pleasing to be around.

Yesterday I again stopped by in the late afternoon to see how mom was fairing and she was predictably next to the mirror having a yogurt and talking to her reflection. I sat down next to her and asked how it tasted. Mom answered it was quite good and right on cue offered me a bite. I declined her offer and then she turned to her reflection and held out her spoon and asked would she like to try a bite. When she waited for a long pause and got no response, mom rolled her eyes and mumbled to no one in particular, “Brother what a dope.”  I laugh out loud and Mom looked at me and laughed along with me, not really understanding why. It felt so good to finally laugh about the situation, even if it was at Mothers expense.

We laugh, we cry and we work towards making the best out of a bad situation. I hope this new behavior brings her comfort. I am glad mom has a new friend to keep her company, even if mom does think she is a bit dim from time to time!