The path to writing a Blog about this journey with my Mother was born out of a need to find a “happy place” in what is otherwise a very difficult time for my sister, my brother and me.
I first started writing about my experiences with my Mom on Facebook. It was a way for me to share some of the lighter moments of living with someone who has dementia. Many friends enjoyed the stories and in many ways it helped me.
The tricky thing in sharing the moments with my Mom Marion, is to be careful to continue to honor the woman I know her to be. My Mother was a very intelligent and witty person with a great, and often dry, sense of humor. Mom laughed at herself often and would tease others without insult. She was the definition of “down to earth” class. Mom never made others feel small, was never unkind and always loved being around people.
Before her dementia I can remember having only one big argument with my Mother. Seriously, just one bad one in all the previous years of our lives together. That is how easy she was to be around and how kind and thoughtful she was with me and to others. Mom was lovely to be around. All that changed with her dementia.
My Sister, Brother and I are now dealing with a person we have never known. A stranger to us some moments only to be our funny and thoughtful Mother the next. To say it is sad is a word so anemic to the reality of the situation it feels trite to use it. Because the incremental loss of this incredible woman, who gave me more in life than I could ever begin to explain, is heartbreaking and a tragedy.
And so I write.
I will write to keep humor alive that was so important to her in life . I will write to honor the parts and pieces of Mom that remind us of who we know her to be. And finally I will write for the selfish reason of wanting to reach out for a connection. For the opportunity to share a story that is so common to millions of people who are suffering along with my family.
I will write to connect with those experiencing the mental decline of a loved one, who bear witness to the mental disappearance of one so dear and the heartbreak of being slowly erased from their mind in the process. There is hope for comfort, if not in the process of sharing, at least in the knowledge that you are not alone.
Moments with Marion 
Monica:
I have enjoyed tremendously your FB posts. Doing a blog is a wonderful way to share the laughs and the poignant moments with others who have family dealing with dementia and Alzheimer’s. I salute you!
Brent Hoy-Bianchi
Chaplain
Renown Regional Medical Center
Reno
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Your doing an amazing job. Always wishing you well. 👼
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Reading your blog has given me strength I didn’t know I could have, and also precious memories of being able to help care for my own mom who passed in 2012 from Parkinsons and Lewy-Body Dementia. I look forward to reading the humor and truth in your posts as often as you write them. However, I’ve been so disappointed to not see any new posts since August 27th (coincidentally my mom’s birthday), and wanted to know if you were taking a much-deserved hiatus to work on your own life and career, and hopefully not because anything has happened to yourself or your mom. Please let your readers know!
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Monica,
I will save your blog in my favorites as I begin my own journey with my Mom. I am in the process of moving her back to my home. Of course the change will be difficult for her and the need to form new memories of how to navigate a new life, even more challenging than her current world. I find your stories comforting and a helpful and loving guide. I will thank my good friend Ruth B. For this wonderful connection.
Sincerely
Rhonda Chase
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Thanks so much Robin for your kind words. The whole purpose of my sharing is that it might resonate and comfort others, so thank you for the comment, it means a lot to me.
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Monica, just finished reading and rereading Moments! Funny, heart wrenching, painful, sad and so loving💕Hurts my heart 😘 But reminds me too of the who are you game I play with Marion. I so do not want to put her in an embarrassing spot that I usually say something that reminds her of who I am…and from there to which one of us is/gets to be Harriot. I have been remiss in contact of late and now that summer is at an end that will change . Love to you allMarjie
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Hey Monica. Catching up. Through all of this, I hope you are ok. Can’t be easy. As you know the Starcevic and Flynn family are forever connected. My respect for you grows with each post. Jer
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Thank you Jerry… very kind of you and yes we have the bond! Thanks for reading my blog! Hugs
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